Fried Chicken, Cake, and The Revival of Hospitality

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Chances are, if you grew up in the American South, then you likely found yourself gathered around someone’s table most Sundays.  Southerners are known for, among other things, such hospitality.

For me, it was my granmother’s handmade round oak dinning room table.  We’d squeeze in each week around plates of pot roast or fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, corn, and a homemade cake or pie with the occasional cobbler during the summer months.  Many, but certainly not all weeks, we’d have guests over and they, by and large, looked, acted and thought much like everyone else around the table.

There was one rule that seemed to govern the weekly rhythm of gathering: mind your manners.  Before the meal we were to wash our hands, place our napkins in our lap, and bow our heads as the prayer was said.  During the meal we were to chew with our mouths closed, not talk with our mouths full, not complain about the food, and watch what we said above all else.

We learned through example what passed as table talk and what didn’t. Here’s a brief list of permissible topics: Sunday’s sermon, church gossip, Alabama football, gardening, the weather, and the less controversial portions of our family history.

Here’s a brief list of forbidden topics: Politics.  

That’s it.  Because for a family of white southerners we were largely alike in every way except in our political opinions.  So politics were off the table.

This is, on the whole, not a bad way to gather, but this, despite serving as the formative example of table gathering for much of my life, is not hospitality.

Hospitality, in the Kingdom of God at least, does not attempt to dissolve our differences in the name of civility or good manners.  It freely acknowledges them, positions ourselves around them, both physically and ideologically, and when necessary challenges them.

There is no better example of this than a story found in Luke 7.  Here, Jesus is gathered at the table with the religious leaders of his day and a lone woman deemed a social outcast.  Jesus is accused of having bad manners by his host for failing to wash his hands, and for his apparent unawareness of who this woman is.  The religious leaders think it’s rather obvious.

Perhaps, instead, Jesus is simply following my grandmother’s rule of minding his manners and pretending the differences don’t exist.

Neither is the case.  Instead, Jesus turns the tables on the religious leaders by acknowledging not only the sinfulness of the woman, but that of the religious leaders as well.

It turns out the one thing they both have in common at the table is the only thing no one wants to talk about!

Here’s how Jesus demonstrates a fundamental principle for the church today: He has traded in his manners in order to practice better hospitality.  

Christians talk often of an abstract form of hospitality failing to realize that a notion of hospitality unwilling to challenge each other is really no hospitality at all because it signals we are only wanting to sit at table with an idealized version of our guests rather than our guests as they are.

Imagine if the baker had said to the gay couple, Let’s eat cake together.  Tell me more about why it is you want me to bake the cake, and let me tell you what my reservations are about baking such a cake and so on.

Imagine if the owner of the restaurant in Virginia had pulled up to the table with officials from the current administration and asked to talk about what’s going on and why her staff is having difficulty with the decisions being made around immigration and other policies.

Imagine if you found someone in your city or church with whom you disagreed and said, come over to the house this week, let’s eat and let’s better understand each other.

Forget for a moment whether or not a person or an establishment has the right to refuse service to an individual or entity.  What if those in the Kingdom of God gave up such a right in exchange for the opportunity to sit next to those with whom they disagree and talk over cake and champagne or fried chicken and a coke?  What if we saw *The Table* we gather around each week, the one where we pass the bread and cup in our churches, as practice for gathering around a table with others in our city?

Surely this is why hospitality and the table matter to Jesus.  Surely this is why the inbreaking of the Kingdom of God is more than just an abstract idea to be rehearsed in religious gatherings each week.  Surely they matter for times such as these.

This week, may we practice better hospitality, may we lean into the things with which we disagree, and may we come to see it as a form of resistance against those in our world who would try to make us mind our manners.

Babel’s Warning to the Church in America

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I’m preaching through a series right now called The Better Story.  It’s a series all about the stories in Scripture that call us into the bigger and better story of God.

This past Sunday I talked about the strangely fascinating passage in Genesis 11:1-9. It’s what we typically call The Story of Babel and I believe it offers the Church in America a timely word.  

First, here’s the first part of the text from Genesis 11:1-4 in case it’s been a while:

Now the whole world had one language and a common speech. As people moved eastward, they found a plain in Shinar and settled there.

They said to each other, “Come, let’s make bricks and bake them thoroughly.” They used brick instead of stone, and tar for mortar. Then they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves; otherwise we will be scattered over the face of the whole earth.”

 

Here’s one reason this story is so timely.  Many of us want now what they had then.  We want a place that is fortified, where everyone speaks the same language so we can make a name for ourselves.  In short, to many folks Babel is the American Dream come true! Continue reading

Three Questions Every Graduate (and the rest of us) Should Ask

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If I had 60 minutes to solve a problem and my life depended on it, 

I’d spend the first 55 minutes determining the right question to ask.

— ALBERT EINSTEIN —

Dear graduate, Congratulations! After years of hard work (or hardly working for some of you!), you’ve made it!

As great as this moment might be, I bet there is already a question working its way from the back of your mind to the front of your not yet fully developed prefrontal cortex – a question that is beginning to nag at you – and I bet that question is this: NOW WHAT?

How do I know this?  Because it’s the one question you, and every other graduate, will likely ask for the rest of your life!  As one achievement or accomplishment (or sadly, one loss or failure) ends you’re likely to begin the next chapter in life by asking, Now what? Continue reading

REPOST // 3 Ways Christians Can Graduate from Attending Church

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“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves.  Do what it says.” – James 1:22

It’s that time of year where high school seniors, and eager 20 somethings don their caps and gowns and march down the aisles toward a graduation ceremony that will conclude, in one fashion or another, with these words: “We’ve prepared you well, now get out there and do something!”

This seems appropriate, doesn’t it – that after spending 12 years in high school, and then perhaps another few years in college that those graduating would receive the commission to DO something with what they have learned?

Here’s the thing though, I rarely remember hearing these words from those standing before me in my childhood church.  They were, and many of them still are, good people to be sure, but there was never that turning point in my spiritual development where an older, more mature, Christian stood before me and said…Go! or Do!

It would seem that many of our churches are still full of such people who are stuck in a form of Christianity that leaves people stuck in their seats. Continue reading

Why Being Big on Strategy Can Help Small Churches Feel Small (and Why That’s a Good Thing)

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The last time I flew, I imagine my experience was like most Americans’—on a major carrier.  The plane was one of hundreds pulled up to the gate that day.  Before I ever took my seat there were countless people getting the plane ready for take-off—those working the ticket counter, those working the baggage, those prepping and inspecting the aircraft, and not one of these were responsible for flying the plane.

Many of the leaders I talk to who work with small churches not only lead the church—they do everything else as well.  They operate more like the pilot of a small prop plane, than the captain of an intercontinental jet.

I get that. I work at a small church too.  I only have so many hours in a week, but those working with larger churches are often able to focus their time in more specific areas, whereas those working with smaller congregations often have to multi-task in order to fill the voids left by financial or personnel resources.

Small church leaders are often expected to do things outside of their ability because these things are often assumed to be part of their role.  Continue reading

3 Ways Christians Can Graduate from Attending Church

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“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves.  Do what it says.” – James 1:22

It’s that time of year where high school seniors, and eager 20 somethings don their caps and gowns and march down the aisles toward a graduation ceremony that will conclude, in one fashion or another, with these words: “We’ve prepared you well, now get out there and do something!”

This seems appropriate, doesn’t it – that after spending 12 years in high school, and then perhaps another few years in college that those graduating would receive the commission to DO something with what they have learned?

Here’s the thing though, I don’t ever remember hearing these words from those standing before me in my childhood church.  They were, and many of them still are, good people to be sure, but there was never that turning point in my spiritual development where an older, more mature, Christian stood before me and said…Go! or Do!

It would seem that many of our churches are still full of such people who are stuck in a form of Christianity that leaves people stuck in their seats. Continue reading

Succeeding as a Small Church // Pepperdine Audio

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I’m so thankful to Pepperdine University Bible Lectures and Mike Cope for the invite to be a small part of this year’s lectures.  If you weren’t able to attend, then you missed out on an incredible gathering of diverse leaders, speakers, and writers unified around a common love for God and others and the place our small tribe can play in the ongoing movement of God’s kingdom.

I spoke to a small group of leaders while there who, like me, want to see good things happen in small church America.

Here is a link to my talk, When Small Churches Make a Big Difference, on iTunes.  You can click HERE to listen.

The 720

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“How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?” – Dr. Seuss

Like it or not, each of us have only a number of days, but the point of life has never really been about counting how many days we have, but instead, learning how to make each of the days count – however short or long they might be! This is the timeless wisdom of the Psalmist when he said, “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Continue reading